About a month ago, we swapped city life for the countryside, landing in a place called Valgma in the heart of Estonia. It’s not just any place—it’s a magical slice of paradise, and it belongs to my son’s great-grandmother. She’s the kind of grandma you only read about in fairy tales: sweet, loving, sharp-witted, and always ready with a laugh. The home she’s built here is just as enchanting—everything’s green, lush, and constantly buzzing with people coming and going.
And with all this buzz, I’ve had a bit of an epiphany: I’m a people-pleaser. Big time. I worry about everyone around me—whether they’re hungry, tired, or just okay in general. Without realizing it, I put their needs above my own. And if that wasn’t enough, I seem to have a knack for soaking up their emotions like a sponge on overdrive.
Take Richard’s business partner, for example. He came to visit with his wife and their little girl. Lovely people, but their energy was… let’s say, a bit off-kilter. The mom was gearing up for a week-long trip without her daughter and was practically radiating separation anxiety. Naturally, her four-year-old picked up on this and started feeling it too. The poor girl spent most of her time trying to escape the crowd, even locking herself in our bathroom for some alone time.
Now, being the overly empathetic person I am, I tried to connect with the little girl, calm her down, and ease her mom’s worries. But guess what? I ended up taking all that anxiety on myself. It built up so quickly that I snapped at my partner—something I’m not proud of, but there it is. That was my wake-up call: I’ve got to work on these energetic boundaries.
You see, I’ve always been deeply interested in mental health. So much so that I dive headfirst into other people’s emotional worlds, often to the point where I lose sight of my own. I realized that the more I focus on problems—whether they’re mine or someone else’s—the bigger they seem to get. It’s like staring too long at a tiny speck until it fills your whole vision. But here’s the kicker: I don’t have to do that.
The solution? Simple, but not easy. I need to be mindful of the energies around me and protect myself and my son. I’ve got to learn to carry my own emotional load and not pick up everyone else’s. It’s crucial to prioritize myself and my one-year-old, to show him how to navigate this world without getting overwhelmed by it.
It’s about staying centered—being the calm in the storm, rather than getting swept away by it. I can care about others without letting their worries consume me. It doesn’t mean I don’t care; it means I trust that they can handle their challenges. I should tune in to other people’s blessings and well-being rather than getting stuck in their struggles. I used to think I wasn’t into drama, but maybe I just didn’t like gossip. Now I see that I’ve been a bit too invested in traumas—mine and others’.
As I write this, it’s clear to me: I want to move past dwelling on hardships. I want to feel light and happy, to embrace life, and focus on the exciting things ahead. Dwelling on the past only keeps me stuck, and I’m ready to be free.
When I’m dealing with something tough, I’d rather have people believe I’ll get through it. I don’t need them worrying over me—I want them to envision me strong, thriving on the other side of the struggle. The next time someone brings up their childhood traumas, I’ll listen with empathy, but I won’t let it pull me down. The key to overcoming trauma is to let it go, to leave it in the past where it belongs. I need to focus on the present and the future, on what I’m building now and what lies ahead.
I’m done with trying to figure it all out. It’s exhausting, never-ending, and quite frankly, not worth my peace of mind. Why let it consume me? I’m unplugging from that mess. From now on, it’s all about what I want to create, how I want to live, and the joy I want to feel.
xx Diana
